Grief, Faith, and Getting Back to Work

It has been not quite a full week since Charlie Kirk was assassinated. I did not know him personally. Still, his voice felt close to mine. His faith, his courage, and his willingness to speak shaped a part of the public conversation I care about. Watching him die so violently and so publicly hit me in the core of who I am.

I know the theology. I know the promises of Christ. I believe, with all my heart, that Charlie is safe in God’s hands. That truth does not cancel the grief. Jesus wept when he stood by Lazarus’ tomb. Knowing the outcome did not stop the tears. Neither should our certainty make us ashamed of the sorrow we feel.

My timing has been fragile. I spent 13 days back home in the United States returning to China on September 9. I was sick much of the time I was in the US, first with food poisoning and then a lingering cold that put me on my back. I felt exhausted and small. I flew back to China and woke up September 10, US time, to the news of what had happened in Utah. Since that moment I have found it nearly impossible to focus. It is now September 16th, and I feel the weight of many things undone.

Yet there have been small, real wins. I finished a website for a film festival I promised a friend. It was not much work technically, but given how I felt, finishing it felt like moving mountains. Those small wins are proof. They are the steps forward that matter.

If you are grieving for Charlie, know that your grief is valid. If you are struggling to get back to your responsibilities like I am, know that gentle, steady progress adds up. For me, the plan is simple and practical. Each day I will set one meaningful, achievable goal (like publishing this post for example). One email. One slide. One short post. Let the small things compound into momentum.

Spiritually, I am leaning into stillness and prayer. I am holding fast to the hope we have in Christ while allowing myself to mourn. I am trusting that justice will come and that new mornings are ahead. For now, I am learning to take one honest breath at a time. Losing Charlie is like losing a friend you see almost every day. A friend you admire. A friend you aspire to be more like. This will take time to get through the grieving process.

God bless Charlie Kirk. May he rest in peace.

“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.” —Psalm 46:10–11